We're in the Money!

Well, what do you know! This morning, at my office, I received a fax from royalty! Well, former royalty, according to the letter, which was written by none other than the son of a former King of Liberia, a country in West Africa. Do they actually still have kings in Africa? Anyway, this poor son-of-a-former-king was writing me from a refugee camp in Tanzania because his poor father was currently being held against his will by the United Nations for alleged offenses of war crimes! Can you imagine the nerve? Apparently, the unfortunate man is currently facing court trial in the Netherlands, which apparently is where they have moved him awaiting trial.

This distraught son was writing me because his father, the former king, told him that I was a trustworthy individual whom his father spoke highly of in past conversations. Really? Me? I don't remember ever meeting a former king of Liberia, but then again my memory these days isn't what it used to be. As I read further, the letter continued on to say that this former king apparently stashed $177,000,000 in a banks' security vault under the name of a friend right here in the good old U.S. of A! Amazingly, however, that poor friend died in a most unfortunate motor accident and now the kings son is desperate for help in obtaining access to the millions of dollars hidden away in that bank vault!

I guess this is where I come in, because reading further, the son tells me that he has come up with an idea for us to get our hands on that money after all. He contacted the bank manager and found out that yes, the money is still safely there in the account and he needs my help in obtaining access to it and transferring it out of Tanzania. For my help, he's willing to give me 30%! Wow!! 30% of $177,000,000 is $53,100,000! Can you imagine? I'm going to be a multi-millionaire! That's better than winning the Mega Millions lottery! And I didn't even have to buy a ticket!!!

All I have to do is send this man my bank account information and fax him a signed release letter and the funds will be transferred immediately right into both of our accounts! Isn't that wonderful? I just can't believe how lucky I am to have been chosen for this unbelievable opportunity! In a matter of minutes, I will be rich beyond my wildest dreams! My husband and I can finally quit our jobs and travel the world! My prayers have been answered and we and all our loved ones will want for nothing for the rest of our lives! Oh boy! I better hurry up and get my information faxed back so I can start making my list of all the ways I'm going to spend my millions!

(You do know I'm being sarcastic, right? I'd never fall for one of these outlandish scams, although I do think it's funny that someone actually has the nerve to send such a letter out and quite the lack of sense to think that people might actually respond!)

Unexpected Company

This morning we woke to chilly temperatures, blue skies and sunshine. When I got to the office, my boss had both the front and back doors to the house open and we had a nice breeze blowing through and could hear all the birds singing in the trees.

I was just working away at my computer when all of a sudden I heard the biggest racket behind me. I knew my boss was in his office in back, so I thought maybe someone had come in the front door without me seeing them. I turned around in my chair and there was this poor little sparrow flying willy nilly all through the office.

It was fluttering from room to room, trying to find its way back outside. Through the kitchen, into the file room, back into my bosses office, across the foyer and into my office, up the stairs and back down again that poor little bird flew! It would land on the ceiling fan for a brief rest, then swoop back down as if it was going to land in my hair. I was ducking and shooing and flaying my arms to try and steer it back outside, but it just kept on flying around the office.

Finally, it exhausted itself out and landed on a big set of house plans and my boss scooped it up and let it out the back door. Poor little thing. Curiosity got the best of it and it just had to fly in and see what we were doing, I guess.

Here I would rather be enjoying the beautiful outdoors, and it apparently wanted to be indoors for a change. I imagine it had quite the story to tell once it finally regained its strength and flew back to its family. Too bad we couldn't have traded places for the day. Oh well, back to work. . .

Palm Trees in Tennessee?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. . . My husband is a nut! Every day he comes up with a new way to make me laugh. He's got this new hair-brained idea to play a trick on the three neighbor ladies that walk up and down our road every morning.

Now that the pears are starting to ripen and fall into the yard, the ladies have started stopping to pick up as many as they can carry when they pass our house. The other morning we had the front door open as we puttered around the house getting ready for work, and when the ladies stopped in the yard, Tubby spotted them and busted out the screen door and down the steps to greet them. They all three stood frozen in their tracks with their mouths wide open when they saw him come flying out of the house. He jumped all over them, drooling hello in his own special way, until Sid rescued them from his slobbery assault.

When he came back in the house, he was hit with the idea for the trick he's going to play on the pear-thieving bunch. He's going to pick a week and one day he's going to toss some fat, bright red apples out in the lawn among the pears. Then the next day, he's going to put a few oranges out there. The final day, he's going to lay out a couple coconuts. His hope is that he'll be able to hide somewhere and video tape the ladies' reaction as they find these odd fallen fruits in our yard, and then the last day he'll hop out and laugh his infectious silly laugh as the jokester is revealed!

I guess I have to admit it is a good idea and it could be pretty funny to watch the expressions on their faces as they bend down to pick up an apple or an orange, and then as they look around for the tree it might have fallen from. Even better will be the day they find the coconuts with no palm trees in sight!

How does he ever think up these things? But how glad I am that he does! Never a dull moment at our house, that's for sure!

Anticipating Autumn

My favorite time of the year is just around the corner and I welcome it with open arms! I've had enough of the heat and humidity of Summer. I literally melt when I step outside and my hair goes limp as a wet dishrag, instantly undoing an hours' worth of curling and styling. There isn't a hairspray on the planet that holds up against southern humidity!

Now that the weather is changing into Fall, the sun doesn't blind us awake at such ungodly hours of the mornings, and it goes down an hour earlier at night. It's cool enough in the evenings to sleep with the windows open and the crickets, cicadas and tree frogs lull us to sleep with their constant songs.

In the mornings, it's cool and crisp and the dew coats the grass and sparkles on all the spider webs that stretch along the board fencing lining the pastures. They look like intricate works of lacy art, shining with diamonds. As much as I hate spiders, I have to admire their talent when I see how hard they've worked to weave these beautiful webs.

The pears and persimmons are already falling out of the trees and the deer are coming into the yard at night to munch on them. I imagine they make a tasty midnight snack. Pretty soon it will be time for pumpkins and scarecrows and weekend bonfires. The leaves will be turning soon and swirling through the air to carpet the ground with colors of red, orange and bright yellow. I can't wait!