Why did the chicken cross the road?

This morning on my way to work, I had to swerve to miss a chicken as it darted out in front of me.  It came out of nowhere and seemed to be in quite the hurry to get to the other side of the road.  It would have been funny if it hadn't startled me so.  There's something comical about seeing a chicken run full speed.

All the way to work, I thought about all the critters I encounter on the road to and fro.  It's not uncommon for something to be running out in front of me.  On a regular basis, I see deer and turkey and bunny rabbits, an occasional chipmunk or squirrel.  Even raccoons in the evenings.

One morning, I came around a bend in the hollow and there was a cow, right in the middle of the road.  Yes, a cow!  She was just standing there without a care in the world about getting out of my way.  I had to wait until she moseyed on over so I could get by.  It's quite startling to see a cow that's nearly as big as your car, standing right in the middle of the road.

The same lady that owns the cows, also has llamas.  And yes, they escape the fence once in awhile too.  One morning there were two of them running up and down the hollow.  When it rains, you have to swerve for turtles and frogs.  One year, we had a terrible time with these little green frogs whenever it rained.  You couldn't get down our road without running them over.  Try as I might to dodge them, I just couldn't avoid smooshing a few as they went hop-hopping and boing-boinging across the road.  Luckily, frogs don't hold a very high place on my cute scale, so I didn't cry like I would have if it had been a fuzzy bunny I had run over.  It made for a very cringe-worthy ride for me though.

One night, Hubby and I were coming home from town and he was lecturing me about my driving skills.  You know how men are, they think they know everything when it comes to driving.  He was scolding me about how I'm always swerving and gasping when critters run into the road.  No critter is worth driving into a ditch for, or worth hitting another car, he said.  I sat there meekly, taking it all in.  "Yes, dear.  Okay, dear."

As we rounded the last curve toward our house, we came around and there was a Mama skunk and her three little babies waddling right down the middle of the road!  Guess what Hubby did?  He said a bad word and he SWERVED!  I gasped (not because of the bad word, but because I thought he was going to hit the skunks) and when we got safely by, I looked over at him with the hugest grin on my face.  "What was that you were saying about not swerving for critters?"

Neither of us stopped laughing for the rest of the night!

Funny for the Day

Hubby and I have been living in the Land of Low Carb for about three and a half weeks now, learning a whole new way of eating in hopes that we can get healthier and lose some weight.  We've been eating things we never knew we liked, experimenting with different veggies and fruits, eating lots of different meats and finding recipes for low-carb and no-carb desserts along the way.  It's been interesting and challenging, but we're getting by and we haven't killed each other yet.  We both miss our breads and sweets, but it's been surprisingly easy so far and we're seeing results.

Hubby loves him some Starbucks.  He has especially been addicted to the sickeningly sweet, high-calorie, mega-fat drinks that have tons of sugar, heavy cream, are caramel-laden, topped with whipped cream and more caramel drizzled on top.  How he drinks them, I don't know!  It's enough to send me to the moon and back twelve times.

The other day we were out bumping around in the jeep and we passed a Starbucks.  He said, "I sure wish we could have a coffee," and I said, "Well, we can!  You just need to learn a new way of ordering."  I know he didn't trust me at first, but we pulled into the drive-thru and I told him what to order.  He can pretty much have close to what he's used to having "taste-wise" but without all the sugar and fat.  We ordered a skinny vanilla latte on ice and when he took his first sip, a look of disbelief crossed his face and he continued to sip away.  See, I told you you'd like it!

Well, this past week he's been working a construction job in Nashville with a buddy of his, and yesterday he got a hankerin' for another Starbucks.  He pulled in and ordered two of the skinny vanilla lattes, frozen.  One for him, and one for his buddy.  When they got up to the window, the server took one look at the two of them and her jaw dropped.   She said, "Whoa!  Are these for you?  You don't look like the type that would be drinking these!"  Hubby's buddy said, "What the heck did you order?" and the lady said, "These are froo-froo drinks!" and again, the buddy said louder, "What the HECK did you order?!  Change mine to a plain, black coffee!  I ain't drinkin' no froo-froo drink!"

As Hubby took the drinks from the server and handed over his cash, he grinned and told her, "I'm drinkin' it and I don't mind throwin' down with anyone who wants to take me on!"  (Okay, Mr. Tough Guy!)  He shoved the second drink in his buddy's hands and said, "You're drinking it, I just paid $7 for these things!" and off they drove.  As they were pulling out of the parking lot, Hubby said to his buddy, "Never again, never again!"  I think he was beyond mortified.

I laughed and laughed when he told me this story later that night when he got home.  I would have loved to see the look on that ladies' face when she saw these two brawny manly-men that had ordered these girlie drinks.  I was so proud of Hubby for sticking to the plan, even though it caused him some embarrassment.  He always finds a way to make me giggle every day!

The Missing Azalea Bush

Hubby and I have been working on the yard, getting things pretty and planting flowers.  He mows and runs the weedeater, and I'm in charge of planting flowers and pulling weeds in the beds.  All my roses are starting to bloom so pretty and the laurel bushes have pretty white flowers on them.  I've got pansies in flower boxes and pots that came up again from last year and the boxwoods are so big they are definitely going to need trimming this year.  The hostas and daylillies are popping up, with the little pink carnations and purple catmint that come up every year.  Everything is so green and lush.

As I pulled out of the driveway this morning, I scanned across the front flowerbeds admiring my pretty rosebushes when it struck me.  My beautiful pink azalea bush was gone!  I planted it about three years ago, in the flowerbed right in front of my laurels.  Hubby bought it for me on a trip to the hardware store and every year it doubled in size.  It always looked so pretty with it's bright pink blooms.  I stopped the car and looked again, thinking maybe I just wasn't seeing it because it wasn't blooming yet, but no, there was no bush at all.  Just a big empty spot where it should have been.  What in the world?  Where could it have gone?

All the way to work I was worrying about where my azalea bush had gone.  Surely no one would have taken it!  If it had died, there would be something left there for me to see, wouldn't there?  And who would steal an azalea bush, for heaven's sake?

Maybe a little bird family had a nest in it, and the Papa bird got relocated for his job at the worm factory and they had to move.  The poor little Mama bird couldn't bear to leave her beautiful home, so they found some way to uproot the bush and take it with them.  That could happen, right?

Or maybe the azalea bush was lonely there in front of those laurels, competing with the snobby rose bush that towered over it, always blooming so profusely.  Maybe the azalea bush was homesick, missing it's family and just uprooted itself and walked back home to where it came from.

Regardless of what happened, my azalea bush is gone and it's a mystery for sure.  I guess I'll be going to the nursery this weekend to pick out something else to take it's place.  I'll miss you sweet azalea bush!

Destruction on the Hollow

Hubby, riding through the tree tunnel on the hollow.

I'm madder than a wet hen!  I could just scream, I'm so angry right now!  My blood is boiling and I could spit fire and nails!

The Spring tree trimming crews have descended on our quiet little hollow and they are absolutely butchering our beautiful scenery.  Our local electric cooperative has hired a bunch of tree trimming contractors to make sure wayward limbs and branches are cleared away from the power lines.  These so-called tree experts are taking things to extremes when it comes to them having their way with our blessed trees.  You should see the absolute mess they are making!

They come onto our properties and hack away at the trees without a care in the world!  There must be six huge orange-colored Asplundh trucks all along our winding little road, with big cranes and wood chippers and chain saws, ripping away at trees that have stood majestically proud on the hollow for close to 100 years, if not more!  Some of the trees they are hacking away at aren't even close to the power lines, yet there they are chopping and sawing and savagely butchering these gorgeous trees.

We have this awesome tree tunnel halfway down the road that is so pretty this time of year with all the leaves so green and lush.  The trees have grown together from each side of the road until their branches are intertwined and the beautiful tunnel was formed.  It makes you smile to drive through it every day.

This morning, however, I rounded the bend to see that our beautiful tree tunnel has been forever marred by these savage beasts!  They have chopped several trees down to mere stumps at the entrance to the tunnel and others they have cut the limbs so far back the poor trees don't even resemble trees at all!  They might as well be bare telephone poles sticking straight up into the sky!  How humiliating for these majestic trees to be stripped of their beautiful arms!  Not to mention all the birds they are evacuating from their newly built nesting areas.  Don't these yayhoos know it's Springtime?  Eggs have been laid and baby birds are soon to be born in those tree tops!  Or at least they were, until these guys came along and knocked them all down!

I wanted to stop my car and jump out and scream bloody murder at these stupid tree killers this morning, but it wouldn't have done me any good as the majority of them probably don't even understand English anyway!  If I knew how to speak Spanish, I would have given them a good tongue blistering for sure! 

I dread the drive home tonight.  Our beautiful little hollow has been torn apart.  All the way to work I was wishing bad things upon these awful, careless men!  I hope their underwear is infested with sawdust and that ticks and chiggers crawl up their pant legs.  I hope they get huge splinters and that cardinals and angry wrens dive-bomb them.  I hope they come across a huge hornets nest and suffer painful stings!  I hope they leave our hollow and never come back!

Oh what a beautiful morning!

I just love a pretty Springtime morning!  This morning, Duds woke me up to go outside a little earlier than usual - two hours before it was actually time for me to get up!  I blindly made my way through the living room to let him out and when I opened the front door I was bombarded by a deafening symphony of millions of birds singing!  It sounded like every bird in Tennessee was in our front yard.  Even the turkeys were gobbling across the road.

Poor Duds seemed a bit bewildered as he made his way down the front steps and out onto the lawn to do his business.  He just stood there looking this way and that, trying to figure out where all the noise was coming from.

On my way to work this morning, I saw so many turkey out in the pastures doing their little mating dancing and prancing.  The toms were all puffed up with their tail feathers fanned out to impress and the hens were doing their best to ignore them as they strutted back and forth.  The fields are so green right now and there are random patches of daffodils here and there as if God dropped bulbs all around willy nilly so even the cows and horses could enjoy some of their beauty as they munch on grass.  All the trees are budding and blooming and everything looks so fresh and new.

Happy Spring!

A Day with Duds

One of our very good friends came by the other day to visit with Daddy and Dudley.  It just so happens this friend is a super fantastic photographer and he brought his camera with him, so he surprised me with some wonderful photos of our favorite floppy-faced boy.

They played in the yard with Duds, put hay out for the donkeys, sat by the fire and talked motorcycles and enjoyed a nice springtime day.

The donkeys lined up at the fence to watch all the commotion when Dudley took his first ride on the lawn mower and then chased Daddy all around the yard.

Poor old Duds was worn out by the end of the visit!

Thank you Bob, for the beautiful photos!  You're the best! xoxo

Happy Dog

Dudley's First Easter

Yesterday was Dudley's first Easter.  I felt kinda guilty because for the first time ever, I didn't even fix up an Easter basket for Hubby, let alone sweet Duds.  I guess I got lazy this year.  I did get Hubby a card, and a couple pairs of new jeans, but no jellybeans or chocolate bunnies.  We just had a nice dinner and I baked him a coconut cake.  Dudley's treat was a little turkey bacon at breakfast and some carrots as a snack later on in the day.  He loves carrots!

My sister sent us an email with a bunch of pictures of dogs in silly poses with signs that had funny sayings to go along with the photos.  We laughed and laughed.  She challenged us to come up with a similar photo with Dudley, so this is what we came up with.  He was a trooper and hammed it up for the camera, bunny ears and all.  Hooray Dudley!